No Ordinary Driver

I wait impatiently at the bus stop. Where is the stupid bus? It was supposed to be here at 9:31! It's 9:36....grrrrrrrrr. I had looked up the bus schedule earlier, so I would know when it was to be at Kildee, so I could get home after class and relax. You see, my bike, my way of transport, my love, is broken. My tire got a hole in it after class last week, and it has not been fixed as of yet. So I am forced to take the dependable Cyride bus system. Cyride is good, don't get me wrong, but my bus is less frequent, and it takes about twice as long as a bike ride, so I would prefer to not wait hours for a way home. But this morning, I wait at the bust stop. I wait, and wait, and get more and more frustrated. I text Chaz my frustration at my late bus. I watch person after person board their buses and take off, but still not Blue 3.

Finally, at 9:41, my bus ambles up to Kildee and comes to a screeching halt. I board the bus, and at this point, the bus drivers change stations. Up the steps comes this smiling, bespectacled, older woman. However, this morning she is attired in a white wig, skull police cap, and skeleton gloves along with her Cyride coat and pants. This, I think, is no ordinary bus driver. As the bus takes off and heads home, I still am grumbling in my head. Man, I could've been home half an hour ago. Each screeching halt makes me more and more impatient for home. The bus driver, however, is sweet. She wishes everyone "Have a good day!" in a bright voice as they get off the bus. Most ignore her. I just continue to pout. At one stop, however, a woman on the street peaks into our bus, and tells our bus driver, "Lookin' good!" The driver replies, "Yup! From biker to bones!" It's at this point that I smile and realize what a jerk I'm being. This is a driver who has fun with her job. No matter the mood of others, she is true to her self and tries to cheer everyone. I am thankful for this woman.

As I approach my stop, I pull the chord, the bus stops, and I start to head down the steps. She tells me, "Have a great day!" And I reply, "Thank you very much. You have a wonderful day."

I Wanna Dance With Somebody...

I spent a morning last week watching television and doing Engl 420 homework. While watching a completely worthwhile show on fox (HAH!), there was a sitcom episode on about dancing at weddings. It was funny and entertaining, but the end particularly caught my eye. The large husband started dancing with his skinny, beautiful wife, revealing to her that he actually was a good dancer. He spun her around the room, seducing her with his fluid dancing movements. I was jealous. I want that. As a woman, I have no idea what the appeal is, but there is something sexy about dancing with a man. I don't mean grinding, dancing to hiphop, anything like that. I mean, dancing to old, big-band slow music, or a slow jazz, or some of that other good, old-timey music. Gliding as one body across a room, being only aware of each other and no one else. I don't know why, but I found that part of the show just, well, sexy. And it made the big, bumbling husband seem incredibly attractive and desirable.

What I'm saying is, I'd like to know how to dance like that. Not that I'm giving suggestions to anyone or anything, but it'd be nice.

Rocky Mountain High

Once again...I love road trips.

We drove 16 hours to Durango, CO Thursday night, and arrived at our hotel at 5:30 am their time. Then we got up for a 10:30 am wedding on Friday. I was completely paranoid driving through the mountains because I was exhausted, the road was curvy, and there were numerous signs warning of deer, moose, and mountain sheep. Not to mention the various blood stains and skid marks on the road from unfortunate animals. Oh my.

The wedding was gorgeous. Pale yellow leaves and brown grassy fields leading up to the majestic Rocky Mountains provided a beautiful backdrop for the wedding. The bride was gorgeous in her white gown with a white, 3/4 sleeve dress jacket overtop (for lack of better words). The men all were dashing in brown vests and vans. It was fantastic to meet a lot of Chaz's friends that have moved from Iowa to the wilderness of the West. It was even more fantastic to get to spend with weekend with Titus and Jolene. They are absolutely delightful.

After the wedding, we headed back to Denver to spend the night and spend the rest of the weekend with Titus and Jolene. That took off a large chunk of our driving for Sunday, which was really nice. Denver was fantastic...I really like that city. We were able to hike in the mountains at Red Rocks State Park, and then head to downtown for the evening to check out what the city had to offer. The perfect combination of outdoors and culture. We found an amazing little locally-owned café where we sat and had some Fat Tires...mmmmmm. This made me seriously think about moving to Denver. It would be a good place to have life adventures (after China, of course...which Jolene and Titus are going to come with us for...haha!).

Sunday brought a surprise. We had just been hiking in 80 degree weather the day before, but upon awakening at 9 on Sunday, we found a completely white world awaiting us, and more huge, wet flakes coming down. The drive home provided us opportunity for singing, dancing, faking paralysis, arguing, and seeing dads that haven't been seen in too long (Chaz got to see his dad in Omaha).

I love the mountains.

Wakelessness

Wakelessness. This is my word for the period when you are between sleep and being awake. The fog you feel after staying up until 1 in the morning doing laundry, and awaking for class at 6:30 in the morning, after a pumpkin spice latté, and walking into class to sit in your seat. The weird point in the day when you're aware of what is going on around you, but you still feel as if you're in bed and need sleep.

I was definitely in wakelessness this morning. It was so surreal because I was definitely tired, but I had sucked down that pumpkin spice latté so I was also awake from the caffeine. The result? I was antsy. Antsy in a way that I haven't been for a long time. I could not concentrate in class, and time was moving slower than it ever has in the history of time. Check out my notes from class....all doodles. Mostly attributed to antsiness. So yes, wakelessness=misery for morning classes.

On another note...I'm off to CO!!

Road Trippin' Once Again

I can't wait. Chaz, Josh, and I are headed to Colorado this weekend. That's right! Who goes to Colorado for the weekend? I do. I have so much to do before we leave, but the trip is in sight. We leave Thursday. Ah! I love it!

I love the anticipation of a road trip. Getting everything done and preparing to leave. Making sure you have everything you will possibly need in any situation on the trip. Awaiting the long stretch of road, uncomfortable sleep, hours of music, laughter, and stories. There is nothing like it. There is nothing like the chance to escape reality for a weekend, leave worries and life standing still, and drive away to lands unknown and unexplored. A blank space in the map waiting for you to fill it with memories and stories...which I will inevitably come back with.

While I'm so excited for this road trip, the best road trips are with girlfriends (which will be lacking until I get to Colorado). Oh my: Scorty on the hill, East Dubuque debauchery, Scorty roadtrips period, Tourist Trap Tour of Iowa, To Hell and Back, C-stone, various trips to Ames/home/CF/D-port/etc.etc....Good memories.

I hold dear memories of hundreds of road trips, and I look forward to the memories from this roadtrip as well. Colorado...here I come!

Giving In

It's indescribable.

The way how I know for certain that this is the way God meant for a relationship to look. To work. To breathe. To function as an organism. The way He wants me to be cared for. I will never settle for less than this because this is what I know God wants for me. What I don't deserve, but He says I do anyway. I can feel it everyday. In the way he wants to provide for me. In the way he listens to my pointless stories, and actually says he cares about them. And I can tell that he does. In the way he never complains when I talk too much, when I know I'm talking too much.

It's not perfect, but I know this is right. We fight, yes. We argue. We're stubborn, and we miscommunicate. But then we reconcile. We talk through issues and speak our needs. Knowing that we need to hash them out before they take root in our selves and our relationship.

I'm probably the most stubborn of the two of us. I so love to hold on to the hurt and pain I've experienced in the past. To grasp hold of the anger and bitterness and harbor it in my body to fester, silently letting it eat me up until I'm mute and emotionless. But he doesn't let me. He comes after me, never forcing, but always willing. Pursuing me in a way that I can't resist. Gently and silently persuading me to give up my urge to deal with things myself (when I know I never will), the way Jesus pursues me daily to give up my sins and my issues.

It's hard. It's hard to be honest and it hurts. To have to tell someone what is wrong and what is hurting you. To let them know that they've done something to cause this pain. The initial yelling and the silent treatment are easy. They're just buffers I know I put up to avoid dealing with the real issues. I expect him to give up and let me be mad until my silence passes and then the issues blow over. But that never happens. He waits, yes, but then he wants to talk. He comes to me when I'm not ready to unmask the wound, but he waits anyway. And after my initial blunderings and excuses, I eventually give up my burden. And he accepts it. And he truly listens. Will things change immediately? Probably not. I can't see anytime soon that he'll stop falling asleep every moment he can. BUT he listens, and I know he cares and desires to change. And as we hash out problems, I realize that I need to change too. And this means everything.

Is he perfect? Not a chance. But am I? Not even close. But there is one who is perfect, and He's the one who holds us together. He makes up for the imperfections in the both of us, and no matter what road our relationship takes us on, He will be the one guiding us. He'll be the one gently persuading the both of us to give in more to each other and to Him.

Provisions

How is it that God always knows just what we need and He often provides it when we least expect it?

Today, for example. I worked at ITEC. Got 5 hours of sleep. Woke up at 5 am, and worked until 7:30. God provided energy for my entire day. Don't know how I made it through, but I did.

Driving to Des Moines. Rain. Scary. God provided safety for our drive.

Money short for the day. My mom was here. God provided her joy and company...and she bought me supper.

Cold room to sleep in (I'm staying in the creepy vendor booths). Didn't bring socks or a sweatshirt. God provided a vendor booth giving away socks (not even kidding), and extra blankets given to us by the Marriott.

How sweet is that?

Oh yes, and I saw Steve Wozniak speak twice today. If you don't know who that is...you should.

For my Intelligence

Last night, Chaz, Katie B, Renee, Tommy, Matt and I went to a high school homecoming game. It's fun to go to the high school events since Chaz is a teacher now. It's also fun to make fun of him about all of the high school girls being in love with him. Which is true. Then, it's fun to hear them ask if I'm his girlfriend, and have him respond with a resounding yes and a smile.

Going to the restroom last night, I walked into the bathroom and stood against the wall, waiting for a stall to open (since it always takes forever in girls' bathrooms. Well, there were two cute, high school girls standing by the mirror. One primping, one waiting for the primper. The non-primper whispered to the primper, "That's Mr. Engelkes' girlfriend." The primper responded with, "Where?" Then the non-primper proceeded to non-chalantly nod my direction. I smiled to myself, knowing full-well that these girls are checking me out. The primper turns around (completely obviously) to look at me. I merely ignore their game and continue to wait for the restroom, chuckling to myself and thinking about how I'm going to tell everyone about this. The primper gets finished and the two girls left the bathroom. Right outside the door, however (well-within earshot), the primper turns to the non-primper and says, "He must like her for her intelligence."

WHAT?!? I mean, I know I'm not this knockout, complete babe or anything, but I didn't think I was bad enough to get the, "He must like her for her intelligence," comment. Even from high schoolers. Now, no worries, people, I didn't take this to heart or anything. I'm not going to let my self-esteem be determined by some jealous high schoolers with a thing for their teacher. I actually think it is quite funny. This is what I have to look forward to in teaching. And I had forgotten what high school was like.

Oh high school.