Speak to me

At my practicum yesterday, the students were buzzing about a speaker they had come in who talked about bullying. The thing they were most shocked about was that words truly hurt people. The speaker read a letter from a woman who is older who still remembers exact phrases people used to say to her in middle school. These were all told to get students thinking about how they affect people with what they say and do, and that those things can affect people in the future. My cooperating teacher shared that she remembered in the seventh grade a boy in her class (she was able to give his name) said she was fat. She still remembers that. But what she said was putting that aside, she was afraid to think about who she could have hurt with a slighting comment that she didn't even think about. Maybe she was that verbal abuser she remembered.

I have to agree that words do hurt. I definitely remember specific instances from my past when people have said things, probably not even thinking about them, that absolutely crushed me. My dad told me that I was annoying and no wonder I couldn't keep a boyfriend after a guy dumped me. In 10th grade, the guy I was dating at the time and one of my friends talked to each other about how I was annoying, and then they told me that. Yeah, I'm sure I was behaving stupidly at the time, but they talked about it behind my back, and then when I insisted, they told me to my face that I was annoying. To a girl who was going through major self-esteem issues at the time, this was world-shaking. And, crazy, I still remember it distinctly. Down to the place we were and the time of day.

But just like my cooperating teacher, I wonder how many times I have said things to people that hurt them, and I didn't even realize it. I know that my dad didn't truly mean what he said about me. Heck, I'm getting married, and he thinks that I am deserving of Chaz, and that Chaz is so deserving of me. And I'm sure my friend and boyfriend in high school didn't think I would take what they said so severely. But both of those instances were major barriers in my life. So when have I said things to people? What have I said? What pain have I caused people to go through. The first part of Ephesians 5:20 says, "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs." I know that I've hurt people in the past, and I know that I may not be able to do anything about that, but I really want to try to be conscious of what I say to people now.

I want to be uplifting with my speech.